How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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