But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
