I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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