don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
