He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize