Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
