he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think my vagina is haunted
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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