Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
