My room smells like vodka and shame
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
