I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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