I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
