Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
