Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
