But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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