I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
