Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
