I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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