i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
