Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
