I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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