Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
