I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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