i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
