WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
