Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
