Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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