I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
