Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
