I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
