Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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