i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
