you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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