I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
