can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
