Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats

Fav 10 4671 1597
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(206): View more from Washington

My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.

(415): View more from California

Why?

(206): View more from Washington

Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I think the camel was justified in biting me.

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(207): View more from Maine

I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.

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(509): View more from Washington

well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.

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(757): View more from Virginia

My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team

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