HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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