I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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