I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
