im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
