Do you still have your period?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
