is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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