shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
