i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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