Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
