Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize