I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
