Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
