come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
