just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
