After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
