youre lurking in front of me
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
As shirtless as possible
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
