I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I need to calm my uterus...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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