I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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