Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
