Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
