I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
