I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
