I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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