doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
