I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
