But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
