There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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